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And then we danced till the sun came back.  
10:59pm 25/01/2008
I got a new computer, and decided to post about it.
Okay, so, Limewire, by the way, hates me. It like, wont let me open it on my account because it doesn't believe me when i say that I installed it.
Which I did. because i clicked install when I was on the admin account. but then when i go on my account, it's all, no no you didn't install it, and I'm like, okay whatever, I'm pretty sure I did. And then I went again. i think it's racist. Or gay. Or both.

So, yeah. I'm pretty sure i love this keyboard. It's like, bowchicka bow when i type. and it makes me feel like I'm typing really fast and fancy and all. but really I'm not, but it makes me feel like I am
Also this computer has mucho wicked fonts. Like, whoa. Amazing.
Only issue is it doesnt have my paint shop pro 7. Ohman I'm going to miss that. Dan was all, get this other way better one. and i'm all, but i liked that one?
So, yeah.
I'm going to go.

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HOMIGAWD! White powder is all over my lawn!  
07:57pm 31/12/2007
And by white powder, I mean snow. =]
And i mean about EIGHT INCHES OF IT. Ohmygod. Heart attack, much? I mean, why cant this happen DURING school. Like, over break it's all, like, homigawd, lets snow and not let them do anything for newyears, but then when snow could seriously be useful, lets not snow!! Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, so, I'm listening to a new band, that some guy sent me cause they're awesome. it's The White Tie Affair. AMAZING. Check them out. WWW.myspace.com/TheWhiteTieAffair. Amazing.

So, yeah. I have to go. I'm off to go and watch Harispray, and then The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants. So. yeah.
I'll update later, maybe. Baby. ;D

<3 Awesomeness.
Currently artisticartistic
Jamming to The White Tie Affair
.Tags. music, snow
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November 03  
09:40pm 03/11/2007
Well. I'm basically terrified.
That's right, terrified.
I've never actually been scared. it's weird.

I was upstairs, and like, packing, since this hurricane is coming, and well. there's a really good chance that the tree might fall, and kill my house, so. We're all getting ready.
And, well. I was upstairs, and I seen my cat. she was just like, laying on the bed. So, I went and laid on the bed with her, and petted her and all. and then, I dont know why, but I got in a real bad panic, and like, started crying. It's pretty big if I cry. since like, I never do. I mean, I almost thought that it wasn't possible anymore. But yeah. I dont know. I like, broke down randomly.
Everything's been so messed up lately. I'm so confused. I dont know who I am anymore, and I dont know why. Everything's changing. If like, our house is ruined, I'm ruined. I mean, I know it's just a house, and that like, I should be happy about noone getting hurt or anything if it happens, but like, my house is part of me. Or something. I dont know. I'm freaking out.
I was trying to eat supper, since it might be my last homecooked supper in a while. And what I mean by home cooked, I mean like, cooked in THIS house. I would never consider like, a meal cooked at another place we're staying as home cooked. this is MY home. nothing else is even close to being in comparison. But anyways. I couldn't eat. I like, got sick at the thought of food. and like, I think I might puke like, any minute now.
This really sucks. Like, seriously.
I kind of want to kill the landlord for next door, since it's their tree that might ruin MY life. No. Not kind of. I DO want to kill her. I seriously wish she would just drop dead, so we can get the stupid goddamn tree cut down. If it falls, I'm calling her up, and will be like, "Thanks a lot, bitch. You know what? Now I dont have a home. Hope you get in a vicious car wreck, light on fire, and burn to death. Have a nice day." Ugghhh. I'm so mad, and scared, and like, lost.
Mmm. I feel like crying again from writing about this and all, so, I'm done. I might write again tomorrow, to say how it went, like, if I have power, or a home. I hope I have both.
Currently stressedstressed
Jamming to "Killing in the Name Of" by Rage Against the Machine
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October 27  
10:39pm 27/10/2007
Yoyoyo. What's up?
Ew, mann, I'm siiick.
too much chocolate. Daymnn.

So, yeah. I wrote some gross stuff in political studies the other day. Decided that maybe I should put it on here.

-----Trigger, Click, PULL!

Pull my trigger,
Hear my shot.
Echoes throughout the darkened streets.
My life is a privet soap opera,
And I'll finish it off under the street sign.
I'll be the only one aware.
When the sunrises and the morning birds sing,
You probably wont notice.
I'm invisible to you,
And I know it.

-----Marshmellows of Gray

Hate, anger, confussion, betrayl.
It's a cloudy day, and you're wearing shades.
Pain, relief, question, time.
Where did the sun go?
Disappeared behind marshmellows of gray.

Breath in;
Think, stop, answer, defeat.
Forget the past, sweetheart. Feel the cool rain running down your face.
Reminder, love, begin, release.
Wet droplets trace your cheekbones, it's your turn to live again.
To be free again.

Let the rain wash your past away.
Your pain away.
It's your second chance to live again.

Well. Lemme tell ya. My Holton's boring. and his nonstop talking just sort of ruined my thought patterns.
It COULD have been decent. But noo. He wouldn't shutup for two goddamn seconds.
Anywaysss. i think I'm done?
Currently sickkksickkk
Jamming to Tegan and Sara
.Tags. mr. holton
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08:55pm 22/09/2007
I think he's mad at me?
And and and .
I dont want him to be?
I dont know
Like, he'll barely speak to me, and all.
So, like, I'm in a complete panic.
I dont know. Maybe he's having a bad day?
I dont knowwww.

I'm all sad now.
Something I seriously dont need.
Currently =(=(
Jamming to nothing
.Tags. fuck
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September 22  
08:00pm 22/09/2007
Ew, I'm like, sick and stuff. It's so not cool. I lost my voice last night. But like, I'm pretty good, now.

So, yeah. I wrote some new stuff.

-- Human Ritalin

Isn't it funny, while I'm sitting here in a very "important" math lesson,
Of acute angles and variables
Being taught by a green toothed monster,
I'm in a sleepy haze,
With only you on my mind.

You'd think if a green toothed monster was spitting mathematical word problems at you
And you had completely no clue what the hell she was talking about
Since you slept through all of her last class,
That you'd be totally focused and scribbling every angry word she screamed

But no, I'm writing a silly little poem
Right across my page, dodging the few math problems I copied down
You're my addiction, baby.
All I'll ever need.
You're my human ritalin.

-- Junksville

Welcome to the town of Junksville.
Where the kids are really just white trash,
Screaming obsenities, while drinking whiskey from the bottle as they walk down the shit streets.
Since, well. After all. We're only missionaries of our own lives.
Having to fight for ourselves.
For what's right
Rightfully ours.

In our teeny bopper lives, nothing's the same as what it was in the good old days of which you speak of.
We're filled with "who gives a shit?"'s and broken hope.
Why shouldn't we be?
That's all anyone says.
Shoves in our faces.
Screams at us.

In Junksville, you have to take care of your own problems.
Why would anyone else bother helping you out?
After all, they have their own problems to deal with.
Wars to fight
Battles to win
And at the end of the day,
You're still worthless and alone
Just like every other angsty teenager
Trying to hold his own.

-- Silent State of Panic

In this world, you have to hold your own ground
Stay on your own two feet
Do a balancing act of no other kind
You have no idea what goes on in this head of mine
Mind you, you probably dont want to know.
Or care to know, really.

Society nowadays is so fucked up.
The ones that dont need the help
Deserve the help
Get all the attention
While the ones struggling,
The ones in a silent state of panic
Are just wrongfully forgotten, and tossed the the side with all the others
The rest of the left beind
And spin deeper into this hole of no return.

-- Mistaken (Wireless)

You told me to think about you in my dreams the last time I spoke to you.
That dreams would be a way for us the communicate
Through a spiritual wire
How can I dream when I cannot sleep?
Due to the fact that I cant get you off my mind.
Clearly, you must be mistaken.
After all, dreams never happen when ones eyes are open.

Thurrrr, kidds.
Hope you enjoy.
I think I just seriously coughed up a lung.
I mean, ew.

Currently SickkkSickkk
Jamming to Nothing
.Tags. stuff
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02:41pm 20/09/2007
Haha. Hii everyone.
Yeah, I'm in the library. THE LIBRARY.
Scarey, hmm?

So, yeah. I'm suppose to be doing this research project thinger, right, but like, instead i'm on livejournal.
I'm like, blaaahhh so bored. I reallyreally want to like, go on Gaia or on Facebook, but like, they're banned and all on the computers. Which is completely gay. But whatev.
Hm, yeah. I dont like this keyboard. it's a bitchhh.

So, yeah. Maybe I'll go online tonight and all, right, and like, do my "project". Right. Since, like, jesuschrist, I need to talk to someone certain. Like, really.
yeah, so, I'm going to Becca's on fridayyy. I need energy drink. D=. Maybe I'll get one before I go to rissas, and all. I'm all twitchy and stuff. I haven't slept in like, 4 goddamn days or whatever. So, like, I'm all GRAH! so, it sort of sucks ass. and and and I need fooooood. Well. not really need, but it'd be nice and all.

I think I might do my independant paper thinger on like, the abuse of animals or something. And like, against all that and stuff. I have no goddamn clue what I'm doing my fucking group project on, because mark's being an asswipe and wont fucking choose. He's all, maybe we should do this. Or that. or maybe even this. And i'm like, pick a goddamn topic so I can do the goddamn work. Christ.
So, yeah. My neck hurts?
And I need to get to work.
Currently stressedstressed
Jamming to nothing. There's no goddamn speakers
.Tags. school
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08:19pm 01/08/2007
old stuff.
From, like, 2005.

-----Broken Teddy.

Laying on the floor,
Going over the secrets you told me,
and begged me not to tell

Staring at these walls around me
Bubbling with thought
Your words stabbing through me
Unlike your gentle heart.

Sitting on your bed
With all your pillows and stuff
Hearing your words over and over in my head
With your quiet voice.
And seeing your "dont hurt me" eyes.

Looking out your window,
At all the hills and street signs.
Hearing your crys of pain from across the room
I cant help you, though.
Do you wish to know why?
I'm a simple teddy bear.

I am a teddy bear
With many stories to tell
Many secrets and deep thoughts
Seen many sights.
Many painful nights.
A teddy with sweet blue eyes
And a hole in my arm
I'm a broken teddy bear
With many stories to tell

You hold me through the night
As you cry yourself to sleep
You told me how you hated life
And how you wanted to get away
Or to forget everything, as I

But I dont forget
Nor do I die
I live with this pain forever and always
And there is no prize.

I am a simple broken teddy bear
With many stories to tell
With a rip in my arm
And sweet blue eyes.


Broken memories
Ripped up thought
Who cares opinions
Is all that you brought

You're a leader
Not a believer
Throwing away all that we had,
Now you're alone.
Awe, That's too bad.

You said you loved me
Needed me in your arms.
I fell for your words
And never thought about who you were
How come you were never there for me?
When will you ever just let me be?

The sadness,
The anger
The hurt,
The pain,
The hate and guilt
Was all that you built

The tears
The fears,
A laugh
A cry,
A quick hug before you say goodbye
The hate and the lies.
Why do I try?


Cant get you off my mind
Your image paralyzing my inside
Your touch stuck under my skin
Your laughter laughing at me within
It's just too painful to begin

Why did you have to leave?
The hurt inside makes it too hard to believe.
To believe in us ever being together
When we're apart, I cant handle the weather
Why do you mean so much to me?
This isn't what I hoped it to be.

Cant get you off my mind
Your image paralyzing my inside
Your touch stuck under my skin
Your laughter laughing at me within
It's just too painful to begin


Everyday I think about you
Everynight dream that comes,
You're there too
Every breath i take,
I'm holding back the tears.
And even though I know you're gone
I still wish that you were here

The times we spent together
Will be forever in my mind
And even though you will never be here
You'll always be here inside.
♥ MissyouAdam.


A sweet blue drop
Trickling down your face
A dark hallway
In your happy place
A terrifying scream
In the middle of a dream
It's your deepest fear
When noone is near
To hold your hand

-----Untitled 2

A beautiful sunset
On a July night
The gentle squeeze
When someone holds you tight
A sweet kiss on the cheek
By someone you love
The sweet feathers of
A beautiful dove
As it flys by.

The first words that are spoken
By your sweet infant child
The overcoming joy
When they first smile
The fears of failure
On their first day of school
The thought of lonelyness
As they gather their things
And say "goodbye"

Seeing the line ups
Of all the people you love
A couple of prayers
To heaven above
The roses and flowers
Piled high by your new bed
The sobs of people
As they bow their heads
And say goodbye.

Fucking ANGST filled.
I dont mind a few.
But some are so horrid.

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03:52pm 01/08/2007
Got borreddd last night.
Wrote some stuffs.


-----Trademark Axe & Strawberry Lip Gloss.

You pick me up from my house,
around 12 noon.
You kind of smell like your can of Axe exploded in your shirt drawer.
But you brushed it off with your "who cares?" attitude,
and wore it anyways.
It's okay, though.
I dont mind my sweater being raped and stained by your trademark scent.

You grab a burger at DQ,
paired with some fries and an Orange Crush.
While I play the, "Nah, I'm okay" card,
hoping I could skip another meal.
Your eyes see through my lies,
and got me some fries.
Extra ketchup and a pound of salt,
just the way I like 'em.

We go to the mall,
play with the kitties through the bars of the cage.
Get yelled at by the security officer,
for going up the down escalator.
(Like always, since that's how we roll)
That officer really has something in for us.
Not the first time he's caught us in the wrong...

Now I'm sitting here on my bed,
at home,
tired from the days events.
Wondering if you're still biting the flavour of my strawberry lip gloss off your lips,
While i'm cuddling my "you" scented sweater as I lay down to sleep.

-----Shit apartment

You make me so mad.
With your powder blue eyes
And chicklet smile
You can get anything from me
With a flip of your hair
And a "please, baby. I love you"
(that always got me)

I'll veg on your couch all day
Blinds closed, music blaring.
Only in underwear, since that's how we roll.
I loved that shit apartment.
So many memories.
So many never to be repeated.
(People just wouldn't be able to believe it)

You're hair was always so amazing to me
Long. Blonde. Perfect.
Almost like a Herbal Essence commercial.
A hair twirl worth a millon dollar contract.
I want you, baby.
I miss you.
(I'd give anything to be able to brush my fingers through that hair again.)

-----5 years

It's been almost 5 years since you passed away.
Hard to believe.
Seems like just yesterday I got the news
That scarred me for eternity.

I miss you.

I remember, way back in forth grade.
Valentine's day.
You gave me a batman valentine.
"Be my sidekick. Be my Valentine."
Paired with a heart shape sharpener.

My friends thought you had something for me
I shrugged it off.
Even if I still have that sharpener
Unused, but not forgotten.
In my room, with you're memory still attached.

I miss you, Adam...

I'm all doneee.

All I could think of yesterday was Adam.
It was so weird.
Like, random.
It's coming to his 5 years since his death.
I hate October.
Why does it have to be coming to fasssttt.?

i'm all done.
Currently =(=(
Jamming to None
.Tags. poems.
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10:22pm 22/07/2007

I'm so bored.

HOMIGAWD, guess what?

I ate (about) 910 calories today.

I want to start counting, for some odd reason. Like, daily.
Ever since that guy was on that show, and he ate like, 36000 calories today.
I want to see how long that'd seriously last me.
Like, seriously.

But yeah.
I've been doing like, 200+ situps a night, right.
Well. Last night I couldn't sleep, so, I did like, 700.
Now i'm 98lbs.
Last week, i was like, 103.
Crazy, hmm.?

I'm so bored.
Like, 100%.
And cold.
For some odd reason.
I write that alot.
It's kind of, like, lame.
"some odd reason."
Gay much.?

Whoa. Yesterday, I was talking to Lucas.
And he was all, Hey wanna go for a walk.
Well.. It was more like, this morning...
it was like, 1230 last night.
And I was like, Um, no.? not really.
and he was like, Why.? i haven't spent that much time with you, and i have to go back on the 26th.
And i was like, We can go for a walk tomorrow (today, like).
But he couldnt.
since he had to workkkk.
It sucksss.
I haven't like, actually talked to him in forever.

So, yeah.
Why am I going on about this, anyways.?
Bens the only one that reads these.
and. Well. I can tell him on msn.


Currently WhaaWhaa
Jamming to none
.Tags. wtf
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